May 2

Just one of those days...

So yesterday, my last day in Melbourne I woke up with some bumps on my neck. Wasn't really sure what they were, but continued through the day and then boarded my plane for Brisbane. One the plane, I noticed more bumps on my arms that looked like bites and were very itchy. I pretty much freaked out the entire plane ride that by the time I got off, I just felt rather diseased and didn't want to touch anything or anyone. I took a cab home, not wanting to struggle through the bus. I immediately took a shower and unpacked all of my clothes into the laundry. Then I researched what this could be, ruled out through photos and text the following: Measles, Mumps, Scabies, Shingles (and Chicken Pox; I've had those twice!), Hives, Allergic Reaction, etc, etc. That left bed bugs. And the photos of milder cases matched. (Man, some people have thousands of bites, I have <100!) I called my mom and she agreed that it was most likely what it was and she had seen the bites on my neck, so she was able to visually identify it, too. She told me what I had already researched - to wash everything to make sure that I didn't bring any back to my house. She also said that if the bumps don't seem to spread any more, then it's probably that and not something else.  I spent the rest of the night researching all about them and tossing and turning in my sleep, scared that I was feeling more bites.

Today, I woke up and searched for more bites - same number as yesterday. Phew! That means there probably aren't any in my bed (and they shouldn't be because I showered and didn't let anything touch my bed from the trip. I did laundry all day, tried not to itch the bites, etc. I told my boyfriend which was a mistake because it's his worst fear and he ended up freaking out about it, which made me feel a lot worse. I already feel pretty disgusting, stressed about getting it taken care of, etc, but he just added to it.

Because everyone in the house has been on vacation, there's no food, so I headed off to the grocery store on the bus, which is always an ordeal with the bus schedules. Got all the way there and discovered that it was closed for Labor Day! Even other Aussies were shocked and said it's usually open except for Good Friday and Christmas. UGGGH. This day was turning from bad to worse. The only store that was open was the expensive IGA in Milton. The IGA is also a lot smaller, so I couldn't get half the stuff I wanted nor could I get anything to help with the bites. Even the pharmacy was closed! So I headed there with now an entire hour to kill before the next bus comes. The IGA was super crowded. You couldn't even stand in one place without being in someone's way much less try to move because there were so many people trying to get things or get passed you, etc... Very aggravating. I tried to tell myself to take my time, but I still had about 20 minutes to wait at the busstop with all of my bags of groceries. And that busstop is always crawling with ants - my biggest fear. I sat there trying not to pay attention to them because they make me freak out and itch all over (just what I need - more itching!). A couple other things happened that aren't big enough to mention separately, but added to the increasingly bad day. 

Got back and it was already late afternoon. Hoped to talk to my boyfriend on skype for the first time in WEEKS, but of course he was busy at the time we had previously agreed on, so I waited for him and worked on school stuff. By the time we did talk, I was already expecting something to go wrong or for him to say that he was too tired, so of course that happened. He made a joke that I wasn't in the mood for considering my already hard day. I tried to teach him a lesson by taking it seriously and hanging up, but that didn't really go over so well because we're both stubborn and waited for the other to call back. Then, his internet failed, so I didn't get to talk to him! By this time, it was getting pretty late for him, so we talked over the phone for about 30 minutes. Throughout the day, I was trying to distract myself by talking to him, but the bug bites were on his mind so it kept being brought up which just made me feel worse about the whole thing. So, a not very good call and everything else that happened today just made me crumble. I tried to call Jillian back (I reached out to her and she called me while I was on the phone), thinking maybe a girl would understand more and make me feel better, but her phone was out of service.

It was already dark and only half my laundry had dried. I hung the rest in the guest room and put the rest away then made some dinner, turned on some music to distract myself. Now off to do some preparations for my group meeting and long day of classes tomorrow. UGH.

Sometimes life is too hard! And it's funny, because I was sitting at the bus stop trying to tell myself that I shouldn't be frustrated and on the brink of tears for such stupid things. After all, haven't I experienced much WORSE days, where more catastrophic things have happened? But I guess for the same reason you can't compare your hard times to others, you also can't do it to yourself. Sure, those were "worse" in terms of scale, but that doesn't negate how hard today might be. Today still might just be that combination of things at the wrong time, when you're feeling a bit more vulnerable and it just gets inside you. It's all relative; it's hard because it's happening now. Difficult to explain, I guess. Whatever the reasons/causes, whether they were big or small or whatever, the point is - it's been a rough day.