Since I went to sleep so early, I woke up at like 6:30 and stayed in bed for a while. Then finally came out and talked to Jillian and Lina who gave me some roommate updates. And somehow we got on the topic of the moment that Lina changed as a person, became less selfish. She told us about when she was in Turkey, working where injured soldiers from Afghanistan were taken and all of the crazy shit she saw that made her think - shit, my life is nothing, Look at these young guys all shot up. Somehow all they care about is each other, and making sure they have their photos and mementos of their families. Of course, I cannot explain it the way she did, but I thought the most interesting point she made was that they were lying there, shot up, and the only thing they wanted, the only thing worth living for in those moments (I guess you could say) was a sense of human connection. To find their photos that would remind them why they needed to fight for life, etc. It was pretty intense. I think she should write it down, I mean I guess there are other people who have similar experiences or stories, but probably most of them never write this shit down. So she should. I think that's why I love Into the Wild so much, because in the end, he realizes that connection is the most important thing. He wanders alone, removing himself from all connections only to realize that's the one thing necessary for life. I guess I like it, because I have loner tendencies, I tend to push people away and have a desire to be so independent, so it helps remind me that this might not be right/good for me.
I made some brekkie and headed to campus to meet for a group project. We met from 12:30-8pm with zero breaks. I didn't even move to go to the bathroom! It was insane. And we still aren't done. Part of me just wants to do the project myself because it's so tedious to do it with a group. Trying to get input is like pulling teeth and then when I do, sometimes it's just wrong and weird. And I get so tired of correcting improper english! UGH. Anyway, we finished up around 8pm and I bussed back to town, in the rain, with flipflops. =( Lina texted me and told me they were at Joe's bar. I said I felt and looked like shit and should probably just go home, but she convinced me to meet up with them for like a bit. So I went and scarfed down some food and had a couple drinks. Jillian and Joe couldn't keep their hands off each other. Wondering when they will realize they can have each other anytime they want and cool it down in public... I guess it's hard not to be jealous because they look pretty darn cute together and are obviously so into each other. Lina was getting hit on pretty hard core by a drunk guy, who smelled awful, so finally, we had to leave to get away from him. We caught the bus, tried to train Jasper (mini-banjo) and then I headed to bed.
Today was the anniversary of my sister's death, but I was so busy that I almost didn't think of it. It wasn't until Lina showed me something on her phone and I saw the date that I was suddenly swept up with an "Oh shit" feeling. But because of the time change, I don't know whether it's appropriate to be sad today or tomorrow or what. I got home and cried about it for a while, missing her and again trying to understand how her mind could be so different from mine, until I exhausted myself and fell asleep. Oh well...
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